Kim Kardashian’s bottom can be blamed for the overuse of the phrase ‘break the internet’. Photo: Kim Kardashian West: SelfishOn October 21, 2015, reality television star Kim Kardashian turned 35.
To celebrate her not-really-milestone birthday, Kardashian released a list titled ’35 things I’ve learned before turning 35′ on her website, KimKardashianWest老域名出售.
The lessons she has learnt in her time on this earth are more “Kim Kardashian” than an Instagram selfie taken during a trip to Nobu in a Balmain jacket and a pair of Yeezys.
Attached are some selected annotations.
“9. Take photos of everything; those are your memories.”
But if those are my memories, what are the results of the psychological process in which information is encoded and stored in my brain? Snapchats?
“17. All-white always works, no matter what time of year it is.”
Yes, I am sure that all-white does always work, both in fashion and in constructing a bread basket for a six-year-old’s birthday party. But, wait, what do we have here …
“25. When in doubt, wear black.”
OK, Kimmy, is it white or black? Make up your mind.
“24. White flowers go with everything.”
Must be white.
“20. A perfectly centred part takes time, but it’s worth it.”
Surely, if you use a fine-toothed comb, constructing a centre part is a sub-five-second operation?
However, it is possible this nugget of advice is referring to the best practice for ending a 72-day marriage with a clean, amicable split and a balanced sense of self … in which case it’s probably legitimate.
“26. Airplane bathrooms have great lighting for selfies.”
Conceded. But …
“29. My angles. Know your angles.”
No one is hitting their most photogenic angles in the confined space of an aeroplane bathroom. They are accidentally hitting their head on the mirror when a moment of turbulence interrupts their 3am teeth-brushing session, yes, but no angles.
“32. You can’t go wrong with a nude nail.”
This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on 老域名购买.